Tan Chee Lay 陈志锐 (b. 1973)

SELECTED POEMS

回到南洋

拖着因久离而被拉长的思绪
回到南洋
始终黏腻的南方之洋
始终阵雨始终季候风吹着的南方无恙

潮湿的日常
有一些近处无所适从的安静
以及远方不置可否的喧闹
天空始终被更多的新房子切割
道路始终让更多的施工所阻隔
到处都是人工
工人到处都是

回到南洋
一个再熟悉不过的陌生地
一个再陌生不过的熟悉满地
我想把自己活成一个
城市的游移者
在边缘游走
在边缘的边缘游移
无需过于介入
又不可完全抽离

在南洋的边缘 边缘的南洋
大概不会那么炽热潮湿以及烦躁
带着中距离 甚至中远距离的眼光
找到属于自己的若即若离的景深与恰恰好的位置
听音乐或不听音乐地读书写字思考辩证打坐
然后
轻盈地却又深刻地
活出仅此一家的南洋

有时勇气教会我

有时勇气教会我
要背对世界
甚至让所有人的眼光让我的背脊发麻
毛发直竖
我仍然要紧紧攫住那一丁点的勇气
至少让人们
看不出一丁点
懦弱的端倪

是的有时
勇气教会我要背对世界
让不受欢迎的信仰
有看见广阔的可能
让所谓的眼界
有伸展出去的希望
让我深信的一切
不要被过多的人声与头颅
所阻挡

是的，勇气教会我有时
甚至要转过身
与世界为敌
即使是与  整   个
舆论可以轻似鸿毛
不可重如泰山
旁观的冷眼或者纷纷之议论
都应该是路过无痕的风
给你一丝泼冷水的冰
然后
就无声无息

所以，勇气教会我
远方更伟大的敌人
仍在远方
在一个
甚至众人都不见之处
甚至众人仍未知之时
只能先天下
然后才可
后天下
所以有不得不
的当下造一个我们适应的
世界

by Tan Chee Lay 陈志锐
from Lianhe Zaobao (15 March 2024, 30 Jan 2026)

Return to the Nanyang

dragging along thoughts stretched by long absence
return to Nanyang —
the ever clammy southern sea
the south that is always showered on always blown by the monsoon and is as well as ever

the damp everyday
a kind of nearby quiet that leaves one at a loss
and a distant clamour that stays noncommittal
the sky is continually cut up
by ever newer houses
the roads are continually blocked
by ever more construction
artificiality everywhere
workers everywhere

return to Nanyang—
a strange place that could not be more familiar
a ground full of familiarity
that could not be more strange
I want to live myself into
a wanderer of the city
roaming along the edges
drifting at the edge of the edge
with no need to get overly involved
yet unable to withdraw entirely

at Nanyang’s edge the edge’s Nanyang
will probably be less
scorching humid irritable
With a middle distance — indeed even
a medium long distance — gaze
find my own near yet far depth of field
and the just right spot
to music without music
read write think
argue dialectically sit in meditation—
and then
lightly deeply
live out a one and only Nanyang

At Times, Bravery Will Teach Me

At times, bravery will teach me
that I must turn away from the world
even to let the gaze of many make my spine tingle
my hairs stand on end
I must still hold tightly to that sliver of courage
such that they will not even
discern the slightest trace
of cowardice

Yes, at times
bravery will teach me that I must turn my back to the world
to let unwelcome beliefs 
experience the possibility of seeing beyond limitation
so that these spoken-of horizons 
can hold to the hope of reaching outward 
so that all that I hold dearly 
does not find in too many voices, too many heads,
a blockage  

Yes, bravery will teach me at times 
that I must even turn around
and stand against the world
even if it means facing an entirety
public opinion can be light as a feather 
never as heavy as Mount Tai
the frosty stares of bystanders or the flurry of debate 
should be like wind passing without a trace
giving you a splash of cold water
before
vanishing without a sound

Therefore, bravery will teach me
that a greater enemy is further away 
still in the place
that even the crowd cannot see
that even the multitude cannot perceive 
it is only by being concerned before the world is
concerned, that one can 
be joyous after the world is joyous
therefore, there is the world’s inescapable
present.

by Tan Chee Lay 陈志锐
translated from the Chinese by Shelly Bryant (“Return to the Nanyang”) and Jonathan Chan (“At Times, Bravery Will Teach Me”)
from Lianhe Zaobao (15 March 2024, 30 Jan 2026)

 

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