Justin Chin (1969–2015)

SELECTED POEMS

Zoo Animals

The Snow Leopard, the regal, 
once illusive monster becomes 
a freak show, family entertainment; 
who'd have thought eating 
flesh could excite so much.
But here, at feeding time, 
caged out of his wild home, 
taunted with crunchy children all day, 
Little scampering treats just out of reach, 
his fat precise paws unable 
to swipe through metal bars, unable
to attend to the scent

of fresh kill, we smell 
his hunger and his sadness.

The sweating penguins airing their armpits 
in their Cleopatra reed-lined pool.
The red-assed monkey clinging to its wire cage 
pulling his butt hairs out.
The polar bear with skin allergies 
gnawing on his arm.
The zoo holds its share of denizens 
negotiating their language of pride.
You tried to hold my hand 
at the gorilla compound;
I pulled away.
Even though I wanted
to put my arms monkey-like around you, 
I haven't mastered the art 
of publicly displaying affection.
I'd rather not have anyone see me; 
one of our differences, the ability
to be looked at without flinching.

At the Insect Zoo 
you squat on the floor
to ask the kid if he had ever seen 
a Malayan beetle. Yeah, they're everywhere
in summer, he says; he lives in Petaluma, 
little chance of sighting such an exotic insect.
I don’t confuse the Californian and the Malayan 
of the species, have stomped
on the latter in my slippers as a kid, delighting 
in how they pop and splatter their bug juice.
But here, the targets of my childish cruelty, 
lay under glass, pinned and labeled and sprayed 
with preservatives. Shiny exoskeleton, 
scraggly clawed legs and hideous feelers 
splayed and frozen for all time.
Would you dare hold it? the kid asks 
and you grimace, illustrating your answer 
with an exaggerated shiver.

I wanted to lean down and whisper
into your ear how easy it is to hold 
that big ugly beetle in your loose fist 
letting it tickle your palm: 
the trick is to not squeeze, 
to not mind its ugliness
and the smell it will leave on your palm.
It’s the same trick to holding my hand.

by Justin Chin
from Burden of Ashes (2002)

© 2002 Justin Chin, from the book Burden of Ashes. Published by Manic D Press: San Francisco. Posted with permission of the publisher.

 

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